Boundaries in Massage Therapy: What It Is and What It Is Not

If you request anything other than a massage or a energy session the answer is always, "NO."

Over the years, a massage therapist learns the importance of establishing boundaries with clients. These boundaries and professional ethics create a clear framework for both the therapist and the client to follow. Respecting each other's boundaries is essential in the client-therapist relationship. I want to emphasize that I have strict boundaries in place, and I rigorously enforce them, particularly regarding sexual harassment from male clients.

Too many callers, almost always men, ask inappropriate questions or try to push sessions into sexual territory. Below is what you need to know: what I do, what I don’t do, and how I protect my space both physically and energetically.

Yes, gentlemen I am calling you out on your behavior.

Draping

By Texas law, draping is required since 2020. Massage therapists are required to drape genitals and gluteal cleavage of all clients. Draping is about professionalism, comfort, and respect. If your first question is “do you allow no draping?” I will not book you. This is a clinical and ethical standard, not a negotiation. More information about draping from TDLR...

Prostate “Massage”

Medical prostate procedures require a physician’s order, clinical oversight, and licensed medical personnel. A massage therapist cannot legally perform these medical procedures because it is out of their scope of practice. In reality, when men ask me about “prostate massage,” they are almost always looking for a sexual hand release, not a medical treatment. It is not encompass in massage therapy for the state of Texas. I do not provide it so don't ask for it.

Reflexology

Reflexology is the practice of applying pressure to specific points on the feet, hands, or ears that correspond to organs and systems in the body. It may be used to support fertility, circulation, or overall wellness, and it is believed to influence energy pathways. While reflexology can support the body in many ways, it is not a sexual service. Any attempt to sexualize this modality is a violation of boundaries and will not be tolerated.

Myofascial Release

Myofascial release is a therapeutic technique that addresses restrictions in the connective tissue, supports structural alignment, and reduces the impact of scar tissue. While this work may at times assist in releasing energetic patterns connected to sexual dysfunction, it is not a sexual service and will never be offered or treated as one.

Energy Work

Energy work focuses on clearing blockages, balancing the nervous system, and supporting the body’s natural healing processes. Because of the body’s sensitivity, especially within the parasympathetic system, arousal may sometimes occur as an involuntary response. That does not make the session sexual, nor does it give consent for sexual behavior. Any attempt to turn energy work into a sexual service is inappropriate, violates professional boundaries, and will not be tolerated.

Go to the Right Practitioner

Over the years I have learned that there are men who do not want to pay for sex therapy or seek out tantric practitioners. Instead, they call licensed massage therapists hoping to cross boundaries. Some feel they can "seduce" the therapist by fulfilling a fantasy with predatory behavior. Let me be clear. There are legitimate sex therapists, tantric healers, and other practitioners who work in that realm. If that is what you are seeking, go to the appropriate professionals. Do not disguise your request as massage therapy. Seasoned therapists will not tolerate disrespect.

Energetic protection is just as important as physical boundaries. Protect yourself emotionally, physically and spiritually.

For New Massage Therapists: Protect Your Boundaries Physically and Energetically

Predators often target beginners. They test boundaries with questions about draping, “special” services, or flirtation. Protect yourself by setting clear policies and by protecting both yourself and your energy.

Energetic protection is just as important as physical boundaries. Create a clear client intake and screening process that requires deposits, professional intake forms, or a simple phone screening. State your draping policy clearly on your website and on your intake form. Consider working by referral only when needed.

Ground yourself before and after sessions with breathwork, visualization, or simple rituals. Clear your space using methods that feel aligned for you, such as smudging, sound, or intention. Prayer is another way to help protect yourself, yet it serves as an effective grounding method.

Maintain clear energetic and physical boundaries. Trust your intuition. If something feels parasitic or manipulative, you are allowed to refuse service.

Red flags include repeated questions about draping, prostate massage, or sexualized requests, ignoring your posted policies, attempts to isolate you, overly flirtatious communication before intake, or bargaining for services. Recognize these early and end the interaction.

Sovereign Energy and Parasitic Behavior

I am not only a massage therapist but also a spiritual advisor. Protecting my energy is part of my everyday ritual. I will not allow parasitic nor demeaning behavior that attempts to siphon energy, disregard sovereignty, or violate consent, into my space or person. Any violation of sovereign energy is unacceptable and will result in an immediate end to the session.

Final Thoughts

Let me reiterate, I am trauma informed and kink aware, which means I understand sensitivity, consent dynamics, and the needs of a diverse clientele. I don't mind what consenting adults do, and I don't judge their preferences but that does not mean I tolerate boundary crossing or sexual manipulation. I will not be used as a substitute for sex therapists, tantric practitioners, or others who specialize in sexual healing. If that is the service you want, please find the appropriate provider.

If you ask for sexual services, insist on undraped work, or attempt manipulative behavior, you will not be booked.

In my practice massage therapy is about health, wellness, and healing not sex work. I protect my space physically and energetically. Respect that. Respect the work. Respect the boundaries. If not, do not book my services.

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