Medical Gaslighting: Take Back Your Power

Suzan D. Walker LMT 104331
Sep 23
6 min read

Updated: Sep 26

Doctor in a white coat smiles at a patient, hand on shoulder, holding a clipboard. Bright clinic setting, warm, supportive mood. — You deserve the care and consideration from all healthcare providers.

Medical gaslighting occurs when a healthcare provider dismisses, minimizes, or questions your symptoms in a way that makes you doubt your own experience. This can leave patients feeling unheard, frustrated, or even ashamed of their own bodies. It can delay proper diagnosis, treatment, and healing, and may contribute to increased anxiety or stress around medical care.

Medical gaslighting is real and it is something I have been living with since 2016. In the past, I suffered from a jaw infection (Chronic Osteomyelitis) that resulted in a prolonged healing crisis, further strengthening my dedication to assisting my clients with their healthcare needs. As a trauma-informed massage therapist, I want you to know that your experience matters.

Here are some common reasons medical gaslighting happens so it does not become your burden to fix:

Strained healthcare system with fewer clinicians and heavier caseloads
Rising insurance premiums and companies denying coverage for services that should be standard care
Clinician burnout or desensitization after repeated trauma exposure
Variable training or mentorship that does not prioritize empathy
Inexperienced interns or hurried appointments
Lack of effective communication skills
Too many doctors opinion that conflict with one another's findings
Cultural, sexual and gender bias
Language Barriers

Not every clinician behaves this way, but when it happens, it feels invalidating, scary, and isolating. It is important to remember that sometimes it is not your doctor personally, but the insurance system that blocks tests, procedures, or referrals. That doesn't make your needs any less valid.

My Scope of Practice — What I Can and Cannot Do

It's important to clarify that, as a massage therapist, although I am a healthcare provider, I am not qualified to diagnose or treat medical conditions, diseases, or ailments. I am not a doctor, chiropractor, acupuncturist, psychiatrist, or psychologist, and I cannot prescribe medications. That is out of my scope of practice.

What I can do:

Work with connective tissue, muscles, ligaments, and tendons to improve function, alignment, and comfort
Offer recommendations for products, services, or complementary therapies
Help support and provide guidance by navigating healthcare based on your own medical diagnoses or experience

I can use intuition and my years of experience to guide massage therapy sessions, but I am limited in what I can do diagnose wise. When necessary, I always encourage clients to see a medical provider for diagnosis and treatment.

How I Support My Clients

When you come to me for a massage, you're receiving more than just bodywork. I provide support and advocacy based on my personal experiences:

Assistance in locating alternative or complementary providers like chiropractors, specialists, or other options.
Guidance in preparing questions for your doctor's appointment, ensuring you feel clear and confident when you go.

Doctor and patient smiling and discussing a clipboard in a bright office. A plant and white shelves are in the background, creating a warm mood. — There are doctors, nurses and other healthcare providers that do care about your health and well-being. Just know it has become harder due to government overreach and inference from insurance companies.

Quick Reference Guide: Strategies and Inquiries to Avoid Gaslighting

Before the visit:

Make a clear timeline of symptoms including dates, how it started, and what helps or worsens
Bring a printed list of medications, supplements, and prior tests or imaging
Bring a friend, family member, or someone you trust for support

Things to say or ask during the appointment

Can you explain what you think is causing my symptoms and how you reached that conclusion?
What tests or evidence would change your opinion?
Can you show me the test results and explain them in everyday language?
What are the upcoming steps, and what should I anticipate, including the timeline and potential warning signs?
If we cannot determine this today, can I have a referral or resources for a second opinion?
How would you treat a family member if they had my specific condition?
Please make a note in my chart that I reported these symptoms and the date.

Ask for a Differential Diagnosis

Doctors are trained to consider more than one possible explanation for your symptoms. This process is called a differential diagnosis. Instead of stopping at one answer, they are supposed to list several possibilities and then narrow them down with tests or further evaluation.

Questions to Ask:

Ask your doctor: “Can you give me the differential diagnosis for my symptoms?”
Follow up with: “What steps would help rule out each possibility?”

This keeps the conversation open and helps ensure your care isn’t dismissed too quickly.

Insurance-related questions

If you think this test or procedure is not necessary, is that your decision or the insurance company’s?
What would you recommend if cost or insurance were not a barrier?
Can you provide documentation I can use to appeal if insurance denies this?
Can you request from the insurance company a peer review?

Thing to Remember

You can change doctors, chiropractors, physical therapists, massage therapists, or any provider if you feel dismissed, unsafe, or not truly cared for.
You can fire your managed care plan if it consistently denies the coverage you deserve
If a doctor, nurse, or hospital refuses care, disregards you, or compromises your health, you can request their NPI number and file a formal complaint. Only do this if you feel your care is not being properly handled.
If you are in the hospital or under county care, you can ask for a social worker or caseworker to review your records and help advocate for you. At anytime you can request this.
You deserve a team that listens, cares, and respects you.

Here is a handout that you can take with you to your doctor's appointment.

If you find yourself feeling emotionally overwhelmed

Pause and say, “I am feeling overwhelmed. Can we take a moment?”
Ask for written instructions or a follow-up note so you do not rely only on memory

Most of the time the provider will honor your request and re-evaluate the information.

White Coat Syndrome

White Coat Syndrome is when your blood pressure or stress levels spike simply from being in a medical setting or around healthcare providers. It’s a real physiological response and can affect test results, making it important to acknowledge and manage. Below is a simple exercise to help calm your heart rate and reduce your blood pressure before seeing your doctor.

Elderly person in white shirt meditates with closed eyes and folded hands outdoors, serene expression, against a bright sky and palm trees. — Engaging in breathing exercises or brief meditation can help soothe the nervous system during stressful times.

A Brief Self-Regulation Tool (2 Minutes)

If you leave an appointment feeling overwhelmed, try this easy vagus nerve calming breath technique:

Sit comfortably. Inhale slowly for four counts through your nose
Hold for two counts
Exhale slowly for six counts through your mouth
Repeat five times.

This helps calm the nervous system and clear your thinking while supporting the circulatory system.

If You Believe You’ve Been Harmed by a Provider

Sometimes medical gaslighting or neglect can go beyond frustration and actually cause harm or malpractice. If you feel a provider’s actions or lack of action have harmed your health, you have the right to take steps.

What You Can Do:

Document everything by writing down what happened, including dates, times, and what was said.
Request your medical records since you are legally entitled to a copy.
Seek another medical opinion both for your care and for a professional review of the situation.
File a complaint with the hospital, clinic, or state medical board. You may ask for the provider’s NPI number to help with this process.
Consult an attorney if you believe the harm rises to the level of malpractice. A lawyer who specializes in medical cases can explain your options.
Prioritize your health by finding a provider who will take your symptoms seriously and ensure you receive proper care.

Final Thoughts

Medical gaslighting hurts and undermines not only your healing but our healthcare system as well. My own experience and traumas have made me more determined to listen closely and stand with my clients on this issue. If you come to my office, I will listen, validate, and help you prepare for and navigate future medical encounters.

Please remember, when coverage is denied or your care feels limited, it is often an insurance system problem and not a personal failure. There are doctors, nurses and other healthcare providers that do care about your health and well-being. Just know it has become harder due to government overreach and inference from insurance companies.

You always have the right to:

Seek care elsewhere
Choose providers who provide a quality of care
Take appropriate action if a provider fails to give you the care you deserve

With care and support,

Susan Walker LMT

Trauma-informed massage therapist

Massage therapy is not a substitution for medical treatment. The massage therapist cannot diagnose, treat or prevent disease. The therapist can only recommend products and services. Please consult a medical physician for further treatment.