Grief and the Impact of Losing a Dear Friend

Suzan D. Walker LMT 104331
4 days ago
3 min read

Woman in floral dress raises arm, surrounded by flying seagulls against a backdrop of dramatic clouds and blue sky. — Char feeding the seagulls at Crystal Beach, Texas in 2017

Since it's the last Day of the Dead. I wanted to write a memoriam piece about my beloved soul sister Char.

It has been a week since the passing of my beloved friend, Charrissa Hudson Farmer (known as Char in our circle of friends). Every day presents a blend of minor progress and instances where the sense of loss remains equally profound. Nevertheless the grief is still fresh and raw. Her absence is still surreal, and the deep loss is something that will continue to be felt for a very long time. I can only imagine how her children and family are feeling. It is an extreme loss, and grief will linger for a while. It is something you can never truly forget.

I have known Char since I was twelve years old. We grew up together, attended Mansfield High School, and eventually reconnected later in life, picking up our friendship as if no time had passed. She was not just a friend. She was a sister to me, a protector, a supporter, and a travel companion who stood by me during some of my hardest moments.

When Char went through some trial and tribulations in her personal life, I never gave up on her. She was a gentle soul that deserve so much more in life than what life gave her.

I was honored and privileged to be present in her final moments alongside her immediate family. Stephy and her husband, Chris, were by her side, along with her aunt and uncle, offering love, comfort, and strength when it was needed most. Although her brother, Chris, and her son, Scott, could not be there in person, they were with her in spirit and stayed connected through updates from Stephy. I was grateful to be there to support the family during her final moments. Char had a deep love for her children. She spoke of them with pride and carried immense affection for them in all aspects of her life.

Char also shared her life with her service dog, Sanity, who was also an emotional support dog. Sanity helped her through anxiety, seizures, and everyday challenges, and was truly a part of her family.

Festive wreath with pine branches, red berries, and gold accents surrounds a teddy bear wearing a Santa hat and scarf. Neutral background. — Brownie the bear that sits on my holiday wreaths every year.

One of my earliest memories is from my seventh grade birthday party at school. Char gave me a small teddy bear named Brownie. At that time, Brownie was one of her very few possessions, and she entrusted him to me. I have cherished him all these years. Today, Brownie sits on my family memorial altar in honor of her, a reminder of her and the bond we shared throughout life and now on the other side.

Char loved traveling, especially to Galveston and Crystal Beach, Texas. She also enjoyed our regular trips to Marble Falls, Texas. During the holidays she loved looking at the Christmas lights on the way there. I had planned to surprise her for the holidays with a trip to Crystal Beach, but now I soon I will be scattering her ashes over the beaches she loved so dearly.

Woman in black dress at a bakery counter choosing baked goods. Wood interior, price sign $3.50. Bright, welcoming atmosphere. — Char loved sweets and one of her favorite things to eat cinnamon rolls, pies, Mexican food, steak and BBQ!

Char was feisty and a fighter. She faced her health struggles with courage and determination. She gave a good fight throughout her life and remained strong until the very end. She was a fighter to the end but transitioned peacefully with her family surrounding her. She will be missed greatly.

I carry deep gratitude for the years, the memories, and the unwavering friendship we shared. Charri was kind-hearted, steady, and full of strength. I know she is now at peace, free from pain, and that in spirit she remains close, watching over her family and those she loved.

Take a moment to think about your loved ones who have passed. Light a candle for them, set a place for them at the table, or simply speak their name and honor the ways they shaped your life. And for those who are still here, hold them close. Give your family members a hug and tell them how much you love them, because life can change in a split second. We never know how precious a moment is until it becomes a memory.

Until we meet again, my dear Char, rest easy, my friend.

With care and support,

Suzan (Susan) Walker LMT